underneath. {Project 52}

I love to read, but I don't own a lot of books. For the most part, I like to read books once. I like to borrow books. I like to pass books on when I'm done.

But I've noticed a trend lately. I've started to accumulate books. Pretty books. Inspiring books. Books that are both pretty and inspiring.

I'm enjoying creating an office space for myself, carved out in the corner of the basement. I threw sensibility to the wind and bought myself a pretty blue desk. I hung some favorite words on the wall. I found a comfy office chair from Costco. I cleared a space of honor for my pot of colorful pens. And I started stacking up my pretty + inspiring books on the shelf right where I could see them.

Oh, and I bought myself an owl. (If you must know, he spoke to me, straight from the shelf in the garden section at Target, and asked if he could come home.)

So now he sits. And underneath him sit my books.

I've either read these books or plan to read them soon. I like the people who wrote them. I respect them. I admire them. The books themselves -- the words inside them -- are game-changers. Life-changers. They inspire me. I hope they will inspire you too.

A Field Guide to Now: Notes on Mindfulness and Life in the Present Tense, by Christina Rosalie

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, by Ann Voskamp

Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World, by Bob Goff

Interrupted: An Adventure in Relearning the Essentials of Faith, by Jen Hatmaker

7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess, by Jen Hatmaker

Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life, by Keri Wyatt Kent

What We Talk About When We Talk About God, by Rob Bell

Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way, by Shauna Niequist

Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life, by Shauna Niequist

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, 
by Brene Brown

Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed, by Glennon Doyle Melton

Bread & Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table, by Shauna Niequist

P.S. They're not just for show - I'd love to lend you my copy :)

P.P.S. What's on your bookshelf right now??

story. {Project 52}

Here's a bird's eye view of our picture-a-day blog.

967 moments {some big, some small} that tell the story of the past two and half years.

A very special story. Our story.

Some days it seems like a chore - to pick up the camera and frame a shot.

Some days it feels like there's nothing new under the sun, like there's nothing special about this particular moment in time.

But it's become a habit now and I'm hooked -- it's a way of capturing the kairos, a lens through which to view our gifts, a medium for acknowledging the extraordinary in the midst of the ordinary, a vehicle for telling our story.

967 moments.

967 moments and counting...

everyday moment. {Project 52}

Since this boy was old enough to toddle around the house, he has been fascinated by cars. Even now, as an eight year old, when many of his peers have moved on to iPads and video games, our house is still frequently filled with the sounds of his homemade vrooms and the rumble of plastic wheels. 

I know one day I won't find Hot Wheels scattered across the living room or lined up along the kitchen counter, and I'll long for an everyday moment like this.

{more Project 52 posts here}

reflect. {Project 52}

Today I sat around a table on an ordinary sort of could-it-almost-be-spring morning with three dear friends while the sunlight streamed in and toddlers ran through the house.

Lisa had just gifted each of us with one of these lovely mugs featuring our words.

We thought it would be fitting, since we are a quarter of the way into the year, to talk about where we're at, how far we've come, where we'd still like to go.

It was an impromptu, unofficial, informal time to pause and reflect.

We acknowledged it's not about arriving or getting it all right. It's more about awareness, engagement, and grace.

Renew. For me, for this year, for right now...

I'm doing less, and strangely enough, I feel like I'm experiencing more.

I'm slowing down, and I'm enjoying some newfound white space.

I'm setting off on fewer long runs and more long walks.

I'm scaling back, spending less. I'm thinking before I do, before I spend.

I'm breathing more, sleeping more. Sometimes, sometimes, I simply sit.

I'm allowing myself to be inspired. (And learning it's not up to me to do all the inspiring.)

I'm surrounding myself with a safe, authentic community who embraces me just as I am.

I'm blogging less, but I do believe I'm appreciating more.

I'm refusing to carry (graciously, I hope) what's not mine to carry.

I'm not taking myself quite so seriously.

I'm learning what it means to be a one. I'm tossing out my bag of "shoulds".

I'm disconnecting what I do with what I'm worth.

I'm taking time to reflect.

So today, I'm grateful for this morning, for sunshine, for friends gathered around a plate of homemade scones...

Grateful for seasons in life (literally and figuratively). Grateful for spring after a long, dark winter.

Grateful for space. Grateful for grace. Grateful that Sunday's comin'.

Grateful for this word, this year, this moment, this reflection.

Amen.

Autumn's new baby girl is home from the hospital, and they are all enjoying life as a family of five. 

Look for her new Project 52 posts, coming soon!

details. {Project 52}

"The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life." William Morris

fragile. {Project 52}

Last week, a friend was handed a Stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis.

I imagine, before that moment, life was business as usual; after, her world has been completely turned upside down.

A kick-in-the-shins, punch-in-the-gut reminder that this life is fragile.

I so admire my friend's strength, her love, her fight.

Her words to the rest of us, as she prepares for the fight of her life?

"Love more, forgive more and live your life like it is the gift that it is."

moody. {Project 52}

This is our Ella. She's six.

Going on sixteen.

She has been a wonder to us from the moment she arrived on the scene.

It's a girl!

{Cue sheer delight + a shock I couldn't shake for weeks.}

She slept for two weeks, seemingly to gather up her strength, and then she cried for the next twelve, on the dot, just like the books said.

You watch, she'll be a sunny toddler, my mom predicted. My tired, achy self, fighting my way through the foggy first months of a colic-infused, newborn stupor desperately wanted to believe her.

She was right.

From four months on, Ella has been nothing but pure sunshine and joy.

And now she's six. Let's just say she's entering a moody stage.

She's a wonderful mix of sassy and sweet. Independent but still a little girl. A fireball of energy but so, so desperately could use a nap most days (we both blame this on the state-mandated, all-day, every day Kindergarten).

She picks her own outfits out each morning. I bite my tongue while she rocks the sweatpants + sweater cardigan look.

She tells me in a withering tone that our house is so boring. I try not to laugh out loud at her dramatic tone.

She makes her case for watching the "big people" shows on the Disney channel marketed towards tweens. Matt and I hold our ground. (In other news, we have officially become our parents...and we're OK with it.)

She laughs hysterically one moment, cries hysterically the next.

Loves on her siblings this minute, becomes the chief instigator soon after.

Snuggles in to us for a few seconds, slams the door later on.

She's growing up and the wild mood swings are par for the course.

Moody or not, more than anything, she is a kind, smart, brave, determined feisty little girl and we wouldn't have her any other way.

I remind myself to give her extra grace because she has always been so easy-going, so carefree -- I don't want to force her to play a role her entire life where she's always compliant, always happy, never mad.

I remind myself that she is so, so different from me and different isn't a bad thing -- it's not something be feared, but rather something to be embraced.

I remind myself that her moods will vary drastically in the coming years, and my job as her mama is to provide a safe place for her to land each and every time she levels out and her feet hit the ground again.

After all, we're all entitled to a few ups and downs, wouldn't you agree?

blur. {Project 52}

Muffins. A box of coffee. 72 eggs.

Boy-filled minivans. Baby dinosaurs. Foam swords.

Snowy boots. Sunshine.

Bleeding toes. Helping hands.

Sleeping babies. New friends.

Pictures falling. Grace explained.

Toddler tea parties. Over-flowing cups. Wet tables.

Plans being made.

Stories told, and retold.

Girly giggles. Belly laughs.

A kitchen filled with cooks. A home filled to the brim.

Debates. Discussions. Physical therapy consults.

Crumbs. Spills. Empty egg cartons in the sink.

Love.

Honesty.

Authenticity.

It's a bit of a blur, but I do believe we had ourselves some church today.

Autumn is busy with her beautiful new baby girl, but check back soon for her take on Week 8's word, blur.

love. {Project 52}

Our Project 52 challenge this week is to share a snapshot that captures love.

Right now, when I hear the word love, I am reminded of our girls... sisters... and the special bond that holds them close.

I didn't grow up with a sister relationship like this, and it's been extra special for me to watch them grow from merely big sister / baby sister to playmates, friends, and confidants.

We're potty training right now (well, Mady's learning to use the potty, the rest of us are learning to be very patient), and at the end of a very long potty-centered day, Ella cheerfully offered to lend a hand. I let her go to work and smiled as I overheard their interaction.

And then I laughed when I saw this scene.

These two sisters are devoted to one another. They delight in each other. They laugh together. They are protective and look out for one another. They miss each other when they're away. They're practically inseparable when they're at home.

They are just starting out on their sister journey together, and I'm so glad they will always have each other in their corners, even though I know there will be moments {and there are, even now} when they can't stand each other.

They'll play together as little girls and then navigate the bumpy waters of middle school and then high school, not too many years apart. They'll share clothes. They'll share secrets. They'll keep in touch throughout their college years as they grow and change some more, finding their footing on their own grown-up paths. 

Someday they'll stand beside one another on their wedding days, holding bouquets of beautiful flowers in their hands and maid of honor speeches in their hearts. Someday after that, they'll hold each other's babies in bustling hospital rooms and become aunties to a new generation.

I know real sister relationships can be complicated, complex, and competitive, but my prayer for our girls is that no matter what they'll always have a sister to come home to, someone who knew them first, someone who knows them best.

These two girls, they've just begun, on the cusp of lifetime full of ups and downs, laughter and tears, heartbreak and celebration.

And through it all, they'll always have a friend who is more than a friend. 

She is a sister.

Click here to see Autumn's interpretation of love this week!

shoes. {Project 52}

For 112 weeks, we have been working out, day in and day out, often side by side. Sometimes we work out our backsides or our extra dessert; sometimes we work out our problems, our frustrations, our burdens.

There are days when we don't want to do the work, but I know if I don't do the work, she won't, and she knows if she doesn't do the work, I won't. So we keep on keeping on, one foot in front of the other.

And we always note as we catch our breath that we're so glad we went.

There are some things in life that are beyond priceless, and I count a reliable, hysterical workout buddy as one of them.

We motivate each other when we're feeling blah. We push each other out of our comfort zones. We extend each other grace when we need it. And perhaps most importantly, we simply show up.

When I thought of this week's Project 52 theme, shoes, I thought of the many places our feet have carried us over the past 555+ workouts, and how I never would have made it this far if I didn't have another pair of shoes plodding alongside me.

Today, in an effort to keep things fresh, we strapped on snow shoes together for the first time. It's on our Year 33 lists {Kt / T}, and we figured if you can't beat winter, you might as well join it.

And we almost didn't go because I said I thought it might rain {winter in Michigan is weird}, and she said who cares, remember how much fun we have in the rain??

In the end, it didn't rain, and we did have fun. We made some new friends, learned a thing or two about the art of snow shoeing, laughed a little, sweated a lot.

And on the drive home, we looked at each other and said, I'm so glad we went.

Walk on over to Charis Images to check out Autumn's shoes this week!

opposites. {Project 52}

30 days ago, my go-to afternoon pick-me-up? The shiny red Coke can on the left.

30 days later? The glass jar of green goodness on the right.

This week's Project 52 theme is opposites.

Completely unlike. Contrary. Contrasted. Converse.

I still love a good Coke every now and again, but I've changed my everyday, mid-afternoon habit after starting the year off with a 30-day green smoothie challenge.

I've traded in my caffeine for green.

I feel more alert (especially during the afternoon slump).

I no longer wonder what's for lunch (& I'm not tempted to eat kiddie fare).

It's easy to keep the ingredients stocked (because most can reside in the freezer).

And my body seems to be thanking me.

It's different than my regular routine {quite the opposite, in fact} but sometimes a little change does a body good.

Ready to give your blender a whirl? Check out this site. Some of my faves: Beginner's Luck {pictured above}, Berry Zinger, Strawberry, Banana & Blueberry, Berry Cherry Jubilee. #1 green smoothie tip: blend your liquid and your greens first before adding the fruit to avoid chunky bits of leaves in your cup!

Now head on over to Autumn's blog {and the rest of the Project 52 crew} to see what opposites she rounded up this week!

frame it. {Project 52}

This picture arrived in my inbox last Sunday just as Autumn posted this week's Project 52 theme: frame it.

This is my mom. We're practically twins.

OK, on the outside, I received much more of my dad's Chinese genes than her Scandinavian ones, but on the inside {and I've been told in our mannerisms} we are very much the same. Different, but the same.

She is one of the smartest, funniest, and bravest human beings on the planet. I love that she's my mom. In a world where mother/daughter relationships are often broken at worst or complicated at best, I know her presence is one of my life's greatest gifts.

When I was a little girl, my mom bought me this a plaque that said, "A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be your friend." I remember she made me promise that I would.

Every year on my birthday, without fail, she tells me the story of my birthday {33 years ago, things we're getting pretty interesting...}.

As a kid, she was present. The details fade away as I grow older, but when I think of my childhood I have an overwhelming sense that she was there. Whenever I doubt my own mothering skills, I remember that fact.

Through my own years as a mother, she has saved me in countless ways and watching her invest in my kids does my heart good.

She delights in me, supports me, celebrates me, listens to me, laughs with me.

She gets me.

My brother snapped this photo while we were on vacation earlier this month while all 12 of us waited, Braverman-style, to watch my oldest nephew meet some new dolphin friends.

In the age of digital photography, we often take 10 pictures just to get the one. Sometimes we miss the moment because we're so busy trying to capture it. I love this photo because it was a one-shot wonder. A quick, spontaneous snap when we weren't expecting it. No time to fix our hair {the make-up boat set sail the day vacation started} or adjust our posture. No time to politely decline.

Just us. My mama and me.

I think I'll frame it.

Pop over to Charis Images and see what makes Autumn's heart say frame it.

round. {Project 52}

This past Friday morning before school, Ella burst into tears. She declared that it wasn't fair that Mady got to spend the day with Mommy and Daddy while she had to go to school.

Because Matt usually works on Saturday's, he often has Friday's off. When the kids were all young, it was one big family day. Now that the big kids are in school, Mady gets to tag along on Mommy and Daddy's makeshift date day.

We spent this particular day enjoying Real Food breakfast spread (always a treat) and running errands. We found ourselves at the mall and soon we were trading in a dollar token for the best {toddler} ride in town.

And a great photo op for Project 52's week three theme: round.

Daddy was her riding partner while I got to sit back and snap photos, each revolution of the animal parade producing a colorful snapshot in time.

A spunky girl (I'm three!). A daddy smitten by said girl. A circular zoo. An ordinary Friday. Quick glimpses of two of my loves in motion.

Afterwards, Matt joked, it's only a dollar...why don't you do that with her every time you come?

At age 33, the mere thought of riding on a carousel makes me want to barf.

At age three, it's pure joy.

And your Daddy? He's what makes your world go round.

Pop over to Charis Images to see what's making my friend Autumn's world go round this week.

new. {Project 52}

We spent last week in a place called Paradise Island. The name speaks for itself.

It's a place we've been visiting every year since Dylan was a baby (and once before he was even thought of, the getaway when my parents bought the timeshares -- on a cool, overcast day -- that we now enjoy annually).

So while the setting is more or less the same year after year, the characters keep growing, evolving, changing.

Each year, we do our best to take a family picture. (Well, Matt and I do our best; the other three are generally an over-tired, under-napped, sun burnt, ornery, don't-care mess.)

A long time ago I stopped shooting for perfect and now we go for good enough.

My take on the Project 52 theme this week? A new family picture, to kick off the start of a just-begun year, representing a fresh set of memories from a familiar, well-loved place.

2013 'Hamas Memories

Ella's lost tooth (she's now missing her two front teeth, that proverbial six year old rite of passage) and the Tooth Fairy scandal that followed.

Hours on a white sand beach spent sifting and searching for sea glass.

Mady's muddled, mumbled, adorable take on the English language. (One thing that's crystal clear? Her emphasis on the word now at the end of nearly every statement she makes.)

Beach football -- and the taller, leaner little man now holding his own with his Daddy. Most of the traces of my baby boy are gone.

An emergency orthodontics extraction (by Mommy, for Dylan) complete with a call to the orthodontist, at his home, on a Sunday afternoon.

Celebrity sightings to add to Matt's roster: chatting with Troy Polamalu, bumping into Michael Phelps. 

Traveling without a stroller, for the first time in eight years.

One of my favorite post-vacation activities -- in between fighting through the mounds of dirty laundry... which is not my favorite part -- is sorting through the photographs, smiling at the memories, and filing the fresh, new memories away alongside the old in my mama's heart.

A trip, vacation-style, down memory lane.
{Alas, no family picture last year, but I'll count one of all three kiddos as good enough.}

Click here to take a peak at how my friend Autumn sees "new" through her lens.

self-portrait. {Project 52}

My friend Autumn is starting up a new project this year called Project 52. It's a weekly photo challenge for 2013 with 52 themes—one per week—to inspire a photo or series of photos that express that theme.

week one = self-portrait. I have to admit the idea of self-portrait is intimidating. I am not a pro or even a novice at shooting with my camera (my method: turn to Auto and hope for the best). In addition, I was not born in the era of let's-take-our-photo-in-every-bathroom-mirror-we-see-and-post-them-to-various-social-media-sites so I'm no good at getting the right angles.

Furthermore, I'm closing down almost a decade of one of the hardest {physical} phases of a women's life - the child-bearing years (9 years ago next month we found out we were expecting Dylan!)

And to add insult to injury, these past two weeks have been a couple of the most harrowing of my life.

(OK, I'm being a tad bit dramatic but not much.)

I call it the Perfect Storm for Mommy's Gonna Lose Her Ever Loving Mind... The Holiday Plague of 2012 (it got me twice!), post-holiday-stress-disorder (6 parties in 9 days), a construction zone for a home (the basement! almost done!), three kids cooped up in the homestead all. day. long. (#cabinfever), and suitcases begging to be packed.

I know. I shouldn't complain about that last one.

Long story short, life feels chaotic and my face tells the story. And I'm too tired to put on make-up. Or real clothes. Or "look for the light". Or find a kid to lend me a hand (the original plan...but as with all things these past couple of weeks, the plan got blown to smithereens).

So instead, you get my legs (one of my favorite parts of physical me) and my feet (currently the most put together thing in my life -- the girls and I made time for pedicures last night.)

Taken with my phone. Because I'm fancy like that.

And I'm resting. On my bed. Because my one word for 2013 is renew.

It seems like a logical first step.

Having fun yet? Head on over to Charis Images to see (what I'm guessing is) Autumn's more sophisticated take on self-portrait.