four.

Dear Mady Mae,

You are turning four today! We can hardly believe it. We're wondering if it's time to stop calling you our baby, but you're the youngest, and well, our baby, and I guess even turning four won't change that.

You make us laugh, Mady, every single day. You may be the littlest Terp but you pack a powerful punch. You are sweet and smart, just like your big brother and sister, but you've got your own thing going on too.

You march to your own beat and aren't afraid to speak your mind. You can command the attention of everyone in a room and know how to hold your own.

You have carefully considered the pros and cons of thumb sucking and have decided, for you, at this time, because it is also your favorite way to hold your blanket, you are going to continue on. (Mommy almost fell over the other week when you looked straight into the kind orthodontist's eyes and stated boldly, "I don't even care.")

You are learning how to stand up for yourself as the baby of the family, how to put big brother and sister in their places. They no longer defer to you as the baby -- they've embraced you as one of them. You've learned most of sister's cheers (and performed them in front of bleachers full of people, at sister's games), and you can run a football past big brother faster than a preschooler in rain boots has any right to.

You love going to preschool and you know all the songs and all the motions. Some mornings you sing your way into school, Daddy by your side, some days you play it shy. You don't buy into the mundane idea that certain colors of construction paper can only go on certain parts of your bird.

You very clearly stated this year that you would like your own birthday cake that reads, "Dear Mady, Have a nice day, it's your birthday."

That's the thing about you, Mady Mae, you are your own person and you aren't easily swayed. (Sometimes that makes Mommy and Daddy feel a little crazy, but mostly we know it will serve you well as you grow.)

We pray you never stop thinking for yourself, that you don't easily give into the world around you, that you fiercely defend the opinions, ideas, and people you believe to be good and true.

You were a game changer for us, baby girl, for our family. You challenge us and push us and add a sweetness and a richness to our life that was not here before you arrived on the scene.

You are the icing on our cake, the cherry on top, this family's grand finale. You were fearfully and wonderfully made in His own image. We are in awe of the unique person He made you to be.

We love you dearly. We are honored to be your parents.

Happy birthday, Madelyn Mae. You're FOUR!

Love,
Mommy & Daddy

Wordless Wednesday.

love. {Project 52}

Our Project 52 challenge this week is to share a snapshot that captures love.

Right now, when I hear the word love, I am reminded of our girls... sisters... and the special bond that holds them close.

I didn't grow up with a sister relationship like this, and it's been extra special for me to watch them grow from merely big sister / baby sister to playmates, friends, and confidants.

We're potty training right now (well, Mady's learning to use the potty, the rest of us are learning to be very patient), and at the end of a very long potty-centered day, Ella cheerfully offered to lend a hand. I let her go to work and smiled as I overheard their interaction.

And then I laughed when I saw this scene.

These two sisters are devoted to one another. They delight in each other. They laugh together. They are protective and look out for one another. They miss each other when they're away. They're practically inseparable when they're at home.

They are just starting out on their sister journey together, and I'm so glad they will always have each other in their corners, even though I know there will be moments {and there are, even now} when they can't stand each other.

They'll play together as little girls and then navigate the bumpy waters of middle school and then high school, not too many years apart. They'll share clothes. They'll share secrets. They'll keep in touch throughout their college years as they grow and change some more, finding their footing on their own grown-up paths. 

Someday they'll stand beside one another on their wedding days, holding bouquets of beautiful flowers in their hands and maid of honor speeches in their hearts. Someday after that, they'll hold each other's babies in bustling hospital rooms and become aunties to a new generation.

I know real sister relationships can be complicated, complex, and competitive, but my prayer for our girls is that no matter what they'll always have a sister to come home to, someone who knew them first, someone who knows them best.

These two girls, they've just begun, on the cusp of lifetime full of ups and downs, laughter and tears, heartbreak and celebration.

And through it all, they'll always have a friend who is more than a friend. 

She is a sister.

Click here to see Autumn's interpretation of love this week!

stomach flu {sunny side up}

Our baby girl is under the weather. Nothing catastrophic, just a little bout with stomach flu.

She'll survive, and so will my laundry room (that's the hope anyway).

And with all of life's inconveniences, both big and small, we get to decide whether to look for the good in it or simply see the bad. So while the last 24 hours were not in the original plan (and we feel so bad for our sad, sick little girl), I keep coming across little bright spots.

You can blame it on Ann Voskamp.

Stomach flu, sunny side up, if you will.

Here are some gifts moments among the "Clean up on Aisle Five!" moments:

I am thankful that our schedule was clear yesterday and today.

I am thankful I am able to stay home with her on the days when she's healthy, and when she's not.

I am thankful for washing machines. (Oh man, am I ever.)

I am thankful for a husband who hops out of bed at the first sound of trouble before I have one eye open, strips sheets off the bed with the best of them, and sets up temporary sleeping solutions without complaint.

I am thankful we have enough extra blankets, sheets, towels, and sleeping bags for 1am, 3am, and 5am bedding changes.

I am thankful for a doctor we trust, and medical care we can afford. (Coincidentally, Mady's 3 year well-child visit was scheduled a year ago for this morning. Pop quiz: what do you call a well-child appointment when your child isn't well? I don't know either.)

I am thankful God wired us Mommies not to shirk away from our germ-laden, little vomit volcanoes but instead to cuddle them a little closer and tackle clean-up jobs bravely and head-on.

I am thankful for texts from friends who check in on us, offer to bring me a latte, act interested in the status of my laundry mound, and generally commiserate (because we've all been there, haven't we?)

I am thankful God chose me to be her mama - to be the one to comfort her, to tell her it's OK, to make her world as right as it can be when you're three years old and feeling yucky.

Now if the rest of us catch this bug, I might be singing a different tune....but for now, I'm choosing joy.

bittersweet.

My mom says babies are babies until they are three. This is very comforting when your little one is not yet three because it gives them plenty of time to be a baby.

It's not so comforting when your baby is almost three.

And it's really not helpful when said baby is your. last. baby.

This weekend Mady traded up her toddler bed for a big girl full bed (my bed when I was a little girl too!)

Add her tiny little toddler bed to "The List":

Good bye itty bitty newborn clothes and impossibly small diapers;
Good bye newborn screams (and sleepless nights).
Good bye newborn smells...and newborn snuggles.
Good bye nursing, good bye bottles;
Good bye baby food and high chairs and booster seats;
Good bye baby spoons and formula dispensers and bibs.
Good bye baby gym, baby bath, jungle ExerSaucer, Graco swing.
Good bye paci's (hello, thumb!).
Good bye infant carrier - and hauling it everywhere we go;
Good bye Pampers (sizes 1, 2 & 3). Good bye changing table.
Good bye double stroller and push along car.
Good bye onesies and cute little hats,
See you later 3-6, 6-12, 12-18, 18-24...and 2T.
Good bye baby pool float.
Good bye crib. Good bye Pack N' Play.
Good bye toddler bed. Good bye crib sheets.

And the here today, just-about-gone tomorrow:
Strollers, sippy cups, board books, and Pull-Ups.

It's hard to believe that in January, we'll be signing her up for preschool next fall (and also a bit laughable if you've carried on a conversation with Mady recently... I keep asking Matt, "Will they let her come if she still can't talk?!")

But with every good bye, there's always a hello. Hello sleeping through the night, hello self-feeding, hello putting shoes on, hello independence.

(Hers and ours.)

That's where the bittersweet comes in. With every item we pack away or pass on, we're also gaining something new, something fresh, something filled with hope, ready to shine in a not-so-distant future.

Because childhoods are fleeting and fast, but that's OK. We only have them in our nest for but a moment, but that moment is beautiful and full and it's enough.

So remember the past. Savor the now. And look brightly towards the future.

Accept the bitter. Embrace the sweet.

It a mama's only choice.

{Favorite Mady Posts}

introducing Madelyn Mae.

dedication letter.

one.

third one's a charm.

baby love.

two & a half.

All photography is the work of Mindy of Mindy Leigh Photography.

Yes, we like her. We like her A LOT.

two and a half.

Dear Madelyn Mae,

I snapped this photo of you yesterday while you were swinging during Dylan's baseball practice. Ms. Theresa told me she loved it because she felt it captured your true self.

They say that who your child is at two is often similar to who she will be as a teenager. I wonder if it even goes beyond that...that the pureness, the trueness, and the you-ness of who you are as a toddler will always remain at the core of you, despite what life may throw your way.

I wanted to write you this letter so someday it could serve as a reminder of who you've always been -- who you've been since the beginning.

This month you officially turn two and a half. Mommy and Daddy can't get enough of you and your sweet cheeks. Not a day goes by that we don't grab a hold of you and hold on tight because we know you're only going to be little for a little while longer.

From the moment you wander into our room in the morning, pulling on Daddy's arm while he tries to hold on to a few more minutes of sleep, insisting, "Daa-EY, I want JUU," (you call everything "ju"...milk, water, actual juice, it doesn't make a difference to you) to the moment when we gather around your little toddler bed to tuck you in and pray with you at night (a family affair...none of us would miss it for the world), you keep us on our toes.

You are a sweet little toddler, often seen wandering around the house, blankey tucked under your arm, looking for a lap or a pair of arms to snuggle into. You hand out hugs freely...when you're in the right mood, or course. You give some of the best two year old kisses in world.

You prefer undivided attention whenever possible. (Your warning if a sibling or a random little girl in the store get too close: "NO! My Mommy!")

You are feisty and independent, a pair of traits that will serve you well as you navigate life.

When we get in the car, you grab the buckles out of my hands as I try to strap you in, telling me, "No! I guckle!" At mealtime, you've been feeding yourself for as long as you've been able to hold a fork in your little hand.

We've given up trying to make you ride in the grocery cart or wear a bib or leave the house without an entourage of blankies.

You can be easily frustrated - you put the temper in temper tantrum - but you are also fiercely determined. You are not easily distracted.

You love to wear your rain boots because you can put them on yourself.

You wear the badge of baby of the family well. Dylan is protective of you and hardly bats an eye when you mess up his Legos or eat the special treat he was saving.

You and Ella butt heads from time to time, but mostly she is your idol. You love to follow her around and play in her room while she's at school. She has an amazing ability to anticipate your needs before you even voice them, and you don't seem to mind.

You maintain the finest repertoire of animal noises this family has ever known. You are delighted when you see doggies in the neighborhood or horses in the fields or birdies in the yard. Even the fake deer on the way to Nana's house causes you to exclaim in delight, "Mommy! Cow!"

You love to sing. Current favorites include: the ABC's, Jesus loves me, and the clean-up song. You like to dance. (You and your sister already have your Daddy worried.)

You aren't in the running for any Toddler Vocabulary of the Year awards, but you are a great communicator. Trust us, we hear you, loud and clear.

You beg to go outside - "I ahna go o-u-t" - and bring me your shoes several times a day. You love to slide and swing and run - I think it's because you love the feel of freedom and wind in your soft, floppy hair.

Madelyn Mae, at two and a half, you bring much joy to our family. Although you sometimes almost always give us a run for our money, we wouldn't have it any other way. We praise God for making you you.

We love you,
Mommy (& Daddy too)

mady-cakes

It's hard to believe our baby girl is almost two. She's a busy girl these days. Some of her recent feats:

She can now go down the steps. Hallelujah. I think she finally put it together while watching big brother and sister at swim lessons (there was a small set of stairs nearby for her to practice on). Her old method of getting down the stairs consisted of her SCREAMING at the top of them until I came and picked her up. Yeah, that was getting old.

She's getting pretty good with a spoon. She has liked using forks for a while (her preferred set-up: you load up the fork with food, she puts it in her mouth...and repeat...she's much too dainty to use her hands making dinnertime quite the ordeal). Her favorite spoon-fed foods are applesauce, yogurt and cereal with milk. Um-hmmm...we're a bit of a mess these days but that's the price you pay with an independent little girl.

She's an accomplished bed dancer. She starts moving as soon as she hears music whether it's in a store, on the radio or on her big brother's and sister's beds. Mother of three tip: if dancing kids on the bed mean you get some peace and quiet downstairs, just go with it.

She's become quite the daddy's girl. Just about as soon as I wrote this post about her being extra attached to mommy, she flipped a switch and turned into Daddy's little shadow. It's funny to watch her follow Matt around and she gets very jealous when he gives anyone else attention, especially big sister.

• Almost-two adjectives: independent, mischievous, high-maintenance.
• Current nicknames: Mady-cakes, Mady-kins, Fuzzy, Fuzzhead, the short one.
• Current likes: PBS Kids, going outside, swinging at the park, shaking her head no, doggies, writing with crayons.
• Current dislikes: eating in a restaurant, being told no, anyone but her sitting on Daddy's lap.

baby love

This baby loves me.

Like really, really loves me.

Like wants-to-climb-back-into-my-womb loves me.

She loves her Daddy too. And her nana's and her auntie's and her big brother and sister.

And she really loves her blankie.

But somehow Mommy still holds the biggest part of her heart.

There are these moments throughout the day when she pulls on my legs, holds her brown little arms up (while stomping her little feet), and cries her little uh-uh-uh cry.

Sometimes I'm trying to make dinner. Sometimes I'm trying to help her brother and sister. And sometimes I would just like a minute or two to use both of my arms at the same time to do something other than holding her.

And then I remember.

It won't always be like this. 

She won't always be little. 

She won't always want me to hold her, to snuggle her, to kiss her fat little cheeks.

Someday those baby hand dimples will be gone. Someday she'll learn to use her words. Someday she won't need me like she needs me now. 

Someday she will grow up and leave the nest and create a life of her own.

And when that someday comes,

I know I will want nothing more than to hold her.

proof!

When we looked at this picture I took of Mady yesterday, Matt and I were both struck by how much she looks like Ella. I remembered taking a picture of Ella around the same age (Ella was closer to two, Mady is 18 months) on the same spot on the counter, so I dug it up to compare.

Below is proof our blue-eyed blondie and our brown-eyed girl came from the same gene pool (although I do have people tell me from time to time that they look like each other).

For whatever reason (serious spunk?) both pictures are slightly blurry (and please ignore Mady's black eye) - but they have the same goofy grin, cute little chin, scrunched up eyes, and fuzzy mullet hairdo.

Sisters. Wonders never cease.

third one's a charm

I have this theory about kids - it goes something like this: If you have more than one, they will end up getting you one way or another. (Or It Doesn't Matter How Many Kids You Have, You Still Haven't Seen One Like This.)

For example, our first child, Dylan, was quite honestly The World's Easiest Baby. I don't even have one single memory of him crying. Really.

Ella, on the other hand, came out screaming and didn't stop until she was four months old and we took a trip to the Bahamas (coincidence or was she just tired of her first Michigan winter??)

And Mady was a perfectly content little one...as long as you (and by that I mean me) were holding her all...the...time, making her our clingiest cuddliest baby of the three.

Another example: Dylan loved his pacifier, meaning he was a quiet content little guy but we had to go through the ditch-the-paci stage at 2 1/2. Ella refused a pacifier (see screaming, above) and learned to "self soothe" (HA!)

Mady took a pacifier for the first few months and then just lost interest and I thought "finally! I figured it out! we got through the first few months of newborn crying but now she's done and we don't have to worry about making up a Pacifier Fairy later!"

And then she stuck her thumb in her mouth. Game over. Kids win again.

I asked Mindy to take some 18 month pictures of our little Mady Mae. She's at a really fun stage but she also never stops moving which means it was time to call in a professional (I've always loved Mindy's work since day one and it's fun to catch up and chat while she snaps pictures too). Mindy did an amazing job as usual - I think these shots captured Mady perfectly.

In some ways, Mady as child #3 reminds us of babies we have seen before - she looks like her brother, devours ham like her sister, and treasures her blankey like they both do. But in other ways she brings a whole new set of qualities and quirks to the table.

She is our screamer, our wall scribbler, our cell phone snatcher, our uh-uh-uh (knows how to get what she wants) non-talker. 

She loves to walk anywhere and everywhere, especially outside.

(Dylan was happy to ride in the stroller until about age 4 when I finally evicted him).

She splashes in the toilet and likes to (ahem) fill her toy plastic cup in the toilet, also a new trick.

She bangs on the cupboard when she's hungry, bangs on the door when she wants to go outside.

(So much spunk in this tiny little person.)

She is our Craisin-loving, cheezy-grin-smiling, evil-laugh-laughing, fuzzy-hair-blowing, don't-box-me-in

baby 

girl.

Just a warning, parents: whatever phases you think you have avoided with your first, second or third child...whatever "my child will never do that" feelings you may have...if you continue on in this parenting journey and go for one (or two or three) more...they will get you every time.

Our #3. Our grand finale. She's giving us a run for our money.

And we couldn't be more thrilled.

mini me

OK...so Mady's hair needs to grow in a little more (and I think I was closer to two in this picture - Mady is 14 months here) but what do you think?? 

I've been having this weird sensation more and more often lately where I look at Mady and for a split second it's like I'm looking into my own face (and I have heard my mom say quietly more than once, "I have seen this baby before.")

Good stuff.

Love our fuzz head, but then I guess I'm a little partial.

miss mady

Mady has been a busy little girl lately! She went through a cranky month or two (teeth + frustration??) but we came out the other side in one piece and now her personality is really coming out. 

She started walking a day right around 13 months. She had been toying with the idea for a few weeks and finally took off one night. She still falls down a lot (her big brother and sister like to "help" her) but she is determined little girl and she's getting the hang of it.

She just started waving last week and we think it's about the cutest thing in the world and she's almost catching on to some baby signs (we try to do "more", "all done" and "please" plus "eat" and "drink" if we're lucky...it's pretty low key but it makes mealtime a little happier).

We also experienced our first girl moment with her yesterday (I know, she's starting young). If you have a little girl or were ever a girl yourself, you know what I'm talking about. I was holding her after her nap and she was cranky. Matt walked in the door and started making silly faces to cheer her up. She tried her hardest not to crack a smile but Daddy was too funny so she smiled, instantly remembered she was supposed to be cranky, gave Daddy a dirty look, and collapsed into tears on my shoulder. Classic. 

For the most part, she is happy girl. She loves her heart blankey, her thumb, and her doggy (we lost him at the mall after Thanksgiving but Mommy found a good enough replacement for her stocking and all is good again.) We are getting glimpses of her personality, her sense of humor, and her sweet dance moves. We look forward to continuing to watch our Mady grow.

one

Oh, Madelyn Mae. Where to begin?

Our baby, our brown-eyed girl - our baby princess. 

Little Peanut. Scootcher. Tunky-Tot. Mady Pady.

And I'll admit, sometimes we also call her 

Slime-Knocker, Gooberstein, Fuzz Head, and Stinky Buns.

With this little one, we have made an extra effort from day one to cherish every snuggle, every stage, every milestone - we have held her more than our other babies, let her stay up later than the others, and it is hard for her do much wrong in this house, even as far as Big Brother and Big Sister are concerned. 

In short, we all adore her.

And you wonder how youngest children end up the way they do.

(Note: this is only Year One - 

we will try to instill a little character in her as she grows.)

She loves

her doggy

her mommy

her da-da

her thumb

those two bigger little humans we have running around the house

and a nice, warm bottle at the end of a long day.

She is the perfect ending to the amazing family God has blessed us with: 

she is the tie breaker, the grand finale, the baby.

Oh, how we love her. Happy 1st birthday, Pumpkin.

big girl

I snapped this picture of Mady last night - Dylan and Ella were playing in the front yard and she was having so much fun watching them and "yelling" at them. She just turned 11 months old and it seems like she's suddenly growing up so fast. She has six teeth now - four on top, two on bottom - and she's eating more and more table food (bananas and whole wheat bread are two of her favorite foods...and chocolate chip cookies that Daddy sneaks her).

She is pulling up on everything and can stand on her own for a few seconds at a time. She looks around at us and grins until she falls on her bottom. Yesterday for the first time, I caught her walking while holding onto the couch. Big sister walked at 11 1/2 months; I'm guessing Mady might follow in her footsteps.

We are counting down the days until we are done with formula and bottles and the infant car seat (remember how your baby stuff was all shiny and new with Kid #1? By Kid #3 all you want to do is throw it in the nearest trash container.)

She is definitely the baby in our family - she gets lots of extra attention and I'm sure we're coddling her in a lot ways...but she still has a lot of  years ahead of her to develop some character, right? For now, she is our baby and we love her to pieces.

our little doll

This is what happens when you have a big sister who loves baby dolls. This picture was taken back in June but I just figured out how to get it off of Matt's phone. For the record, I find this photo both creepy and cute.

Mady's on the move!

Mady is really moving now! She especially likes to crawl into the little forts that Dylan and Ella build around the house. Love her grin here as she gets a bear hug from Dylan. Little Miss Trouble's other favorite pastimes? Dumping out the big crayon box, playing with the computer cords under the desk, and pulling wipes out of the package one by one.

Mady's Dedication

Dear Madelyn Mae,

Words cannot express how precious you are to us. We remember the moment we found out we were expecting you and the moment we found out we were having a baby girl – a baby princess, a Daughter of a Heavenly King. You are a gift from God and we are so honored to have been entrusted with you as our child.

Our desire for you is that glimpses of Jesus will be all around you, every day, wherever you look. We want you to see Jesus when you look at the trees and feel the wind blow and experience every part of nature. We hope you will understand true community as you watch and interact with and are loved by your family and our friends. And we pray you will be reminded of His love for the church as you watch Mommy and Daddy interact and love each other.

We are committed to providing a safe, loving environment for you as you grow. Mommy and Daddy are deeply committed to each other and with God’s help we will always stand by that commitment. We will pray with you and for you – this is one of the greatest gifts we can give you as your parents. We promise to always love you without any conditions – we love you simply because you are YOU. We will discipline you and provide boundaries for you as you grow and we will do these things because we love you so deeply. You will hear the words, “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you” in our home.

Mady – we will do everything we can to raise you up in a way that honors God. Our deepest desire for you is that you will grow to love Jesus – in Him you will find perfect love, peace, joy and comfort.

God has an amazing plan for your life. We cannot wait to see what He has in store for you. Someday we will tell you about all the people that filled the room on your dedication day – you are truly surrounded by people who love you and are rooting for you.

We love you so much, Peanut.

Love,
Mommy & Daddy

big stuff

Little Miss Big Stuff's To Do List:

• Pop first two teeth (seriously, this hurts!): check
• Learn to crawl (gotta figure out how to get away from big brother and sister and fast!): check
• Learn to feed herself (service is slow around here!): check
• Look ridiculously cute at all times (easy!): check
  

puppy love

Dylan and Ella both have pretty good dog-phobia's which we attribute to the fact that they aren't around a whole lot of dogs. They used to shriek in terror at the sight of a dog and now they more calmly and quietly try to climb up the side of Matt or I whenever a dog enters the room.

So this made me really laugh the other day when Mady discovered dogs first at a friend's backyard basketball tournament and then at a friend's parents' house. Mady was un-phased when the first friendly pup licked her cheeks repeatedly (I think he must have smelled her sweet potato cheeks) and then later she mustered all of her new crawling skills to get herself eye to eye with this doggie.

Matt and I know ourselves well enough to know that we are NOT a dog family, but I think he's going to have a hard time in a couple of years saying no to our Baby Princess and her big brown eyes.

sleeping babies

I absolutely love watching my kids sleep. I have a little ritual each night where I creep into their rooms before I go to bed and watch them sleep for a few moments (this will seem creepier to them the older they get, but for now it's my right as their mother and the person who deals with their tantrums, tears and general terrible-ness during the daylight hours).

I snuck into Mady's room during her morning nap this week because I wanted to make sure I captured her at this stage. I sure do love this precious little baby (and the babies further down the post too!)



Oops! Mommy's not very sneaky after all. The baby woke up :)

Ella at about 11 months old.

Dylan at 2 months old.