five.

When I look back at Ella's baby-hood, the thing that sticks out to me is that she wasn't really a baby for very long.

To start at the beginning: we got off on the wrong foot. She crossed her legs and refused to move during her 20-week ultrasound. This fact, plus an unfriendly ultrasound tech, reduced her very hormonal mama to tears.

For two days.

I eventually recovered just in time for a semi-traumatic delivery. My doctor's direct quote the next day: "I was so glad to see a pink baby." The trauma was enough to scare all of us: my doctor soon after stopped delivering babies.

So I was left sitting in a hospital bed holding my baby girl (shocker! I was sure she was going to be a he) with blue eyes (who knew?) and we were both lucky to be alive.

We went home. Life was good for the first two weeks. I was actually a little worried because she slept so much.

And then she woke up.

And she cried. And cried. And cried.

And I cried.

We swaddled, shushed, swung and soothed. {thank you, Dr. Karp}

And she still cried.

My mom told me one day (over Ella's cries): just wait, you'll see, she'll be the sunniest toddler after this.

I didn't believe her.

They tell you it will stop around 12 weeks - which is a small consolation when you are on week four - and like clockwork, at four months old, she stopped crying.

She refocused the energy she had previously put into screaming and put it into smiling, finding trouble, winning our hearts, and climbing on tables.

She crawled at 7 months, stood up and walked at 11.

She chased her brother and wanted to do everything he was doing. They are two years apart in age, but in so many aspects I've always said that they seem more like one year apart.

She's my baby that really wasn't a baby. There wasn't a lot of cuddling or coddling. She never slept between us in our bed because she wouldn't stay still long enough to fall asleep. She's either been mad or on the go, and she's a hard one to keep up with.

Her birth order and sunny personality (yes, my mom was right) mean she goes with the flow and doesn't demand a lot from us.

It was just finalized in our school district that Kindergartners will switch to an all-day, every day schedule next year. I understand the reasoning and I knew it was inevitable. Ella will be fine - she's old for her grade and smart as a whip.

It's me I worry about.

Our little blonde-haired girl is suddenly growing up way too fast. Sometimes it seems like she's five going on 13.

And I just want to keep her little.

Can you blame me?