reflect. {Project 52}

Today I sat around a table on an ordinary sort of could-it-almost-be-spring morning with three dear friends while the sunlight streamed in and toddlers ran through the house.

Lisa had just gifted each of us with one of these lovely mugs featuring our words.

We thought it would be fitting, since we are a quarter of the way into the year, to talk about where we're at, how far we've come, where we'd still like to go.

It was an impromptu, unofficial, informal time to pause and reflect.

We acknowledged it's not about arriving or getting it all right. It's more about awareness, engagement, and grace.

Renew. For me, for this year, for right now...

I'm doing less, and strangely enough, I feel like I'm experiencing more.

I'm slowing down, and I'm enjoying some newfound white space.

I'm setting off on fewer long runs and more long walks.

I'm scaling back, spending less. I'm thinking before I do, before I spend.

I'm breathing more, sleeping more. Sometimes, sometimes, I simply sit.

I'm allowing myself to be inspired. (And learning it's not up to me to do all the inspiring.)

I'm surrounding myself with a safe, authentic community who embraces me just as I am.

I'm blogging less, but I do believe I'm appreciating more.

I'm refusing to carry (graciously, I hope) what's not mine to carry.

I'm not taking myself quite so seriously.

I'm learning what it means to be a one. I'm tossing out my bag of "shoulds".

I'm disconnecting what I do with what I'm worth.

I'm taking time to reflect.

So today, I'm grateful for this morning, for sunshine, for friends gathered around a plate of homemade scones...

Grateful for seasons in life (literally and figuratively). Grateful for spring after a long, dark winter.

Grateful for space. Grateful for grace. Grateful that Sunday's comin'.

Grateful for this word, this year, this moment, this reflection.

Amen.

Autumn's new baby girl is home from the hospital, and they are all enjoying life as a family of five. 

Look for her new Project 52 posts, coming soon!

Ten Reasons Why I Haven't Been Blogging (Much).

1. I'm reading.

2. I'm battling Seasonal Affect Disorder (aka Longest Winter EVER).

3. I'm enjoying the new basement.

4. I'm asleep somewhere. (I can't seem to get enough lately!)

5. I'm focusing on Project 52.

6. I'm blending a green smoothie.

7. I'm watching Downton. (No spoilers! I'm only through Season 2.)

8. I'm doing my best to be present.

9. I'm potty training the littlest Terp.

10. I'm learning how to renew.

This has been a season of slowing down, filling up, doing less, experiencing more, and banishing "should" from my vocabulary. I'm grateful for this time and content to sit in the open space. What's been keeping you busy (or not) lately?

details. {Project 52}

"The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life." William Morris

fragile. {Project 52}

Last week, a friend was handed a Stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis.

I imagine, before that moment, life was business as usual; after, her world has been completely turned upside down.

A kick-in-the-shins, punch-in-the-gut reminder that this life is fragile.

I so admire my friend's strength, her love, her fight.

Her words to the rest of us, as she prepares for the fight of her life?

"Love more, forgive more and live your life like it is the gift that it is."

moody. {Project 52}

This is our Ella. She's six.

Going on sixteen.

She has been a wonder to us from the moment she arrived on the scene.

It's a girl!

{Cue sheer delight + a shock I couldn't shake for weeks.}

She slept for two weeks, seemingly to gather up her strength, and then she cried for the next twelve, on the dot, just like the books said.

You watch, she'll be a sunny toddler, my mom predicted. My tired, achy self, fighting my way through the foggy first months of a colic-infused, newborn stupor desperately wanted to believe her.

She was right.

From four months on, Ella has been nothing but pure sunshine and joy.

And now she's six. Let's just say she's entering a moody stage.

She's a wonderful mix of sassy and sweet. Independent but still a little girl. A fireball of energy but so, so desperately could use a nap most days (we both blame this on the state-mandated, all-day, every day Kindergarten).

She picks her own outfits out each morning. I bite my tongue while she rocks the sweatpants + sweater cardigan look.

She tells me in a withering tone that our house is so boring. I try not to laugh out loud at her dramatic tone.

She makes her case for watching the "big people" shows on the Disney channel marketed towards tweens. Matt and I hold our ground. (In other news, we have officially become our parents...and we're OK with it.)

She laughs hysterically one moment, cries hysterically the next.

Loves on her siblings this minute, becomes the chief instigator soon after.

Snuggles in to us for a few seconds, slams the door later on.

She's growing up and the wild mood swings are par for the course.

Moody or not, more than anything, she is a kind, smart, brave, determined feisty little girl and we wouldn't have her any other way.

I remind myself to give her extra grace because she has always been so easy-going, so carefree -- I don't want to force her to play a role her entire life where she's always compliant, always happy, never mad.

I remind myself that she is so, so different from me and different isn't a bad thing -- it's not something be feared, but rather something to be embraced.

I remind myself that her moods will vary drastically in the coming years, and my job as her mama is to provide a safe place for her to land each and every time she levels out and her feet hit the ground again.

After all, we're all entitled to a few ups and downs, wouldn't you agree?